About things I want/neeed:
The Scars of Utopia – Jeffrey Mc Daniel (he is one of my favourite poets)
If you keep taking stabs at utopia
sooner or later there will be scars.Suppose there was a thermometer able to measure
contentment. Would you slide it underyour tongue and risk being told you were on par
with a thirteenth century farmer who lostall his teeth in a game of hide and seek? Would you
be tempted to abandon your portable conscience,the remote control that lets you choose who you are
for every occasion? I wish we cared moreabout how we sounded than how we looked.
Instead of primping before mirrors each morning,we’d huddle in echo chambers, practicing our scales.
As a kid, I thought the local amputee was dying in
pieces,that his left arm was leaning against a tree in heaven,
waiting for the rest of him to arrive, as if Godwas dismantling him like a jigsaw puzzle, but now
I understand we’re all missing something. I wishthere were Band Aids for what you don’t know, whisky
breath mints for sober people to fit in at wild parties.There ought to be a Smithsonian for misfits,
where an insomniac’s clammy pillow hangs overa narcoleptic’s drool cup, the teeth of an anorexic
displayed like a white picket fence designedto keep food from trespassing. I wish the White House
was made out of mood ring rock, reflectingthe health of the nation. And an atheist hour
at every church, and needle exchange programs,and haystack exchange programs too, and emotional
baggage thrift stores, a Mount Rushmore for assassins.I’m sick of strip malls and billboards. I dream
of a road lit by people who set themselves on fire,no asphalt, no rest stops, just a bunch of dead grass
with footprints so deep, like a track meet in wet cement.
About what it is like to love someone who is far away/living in many places at once:
Other Lives and Dimensions and Finally a Love Poem – Bob Hicok
My left hand will live longer than my right. The rivers
of my palms tell me so.
Never argue with rivers. Never expect your lives to finish
at the same time. I thinkpraying, I think clapping is how hands mourn. I think
staying up and waiting
for paintings to sigh is science. In another dimension this
is exactly what’s happening,it’s what they write grants about: the chromodynamics
of mournful Whistlers,
the audible sorrow and beta decay of “Old Battlesea Bridge.”
I like the idea of differenttheres and elsewheres, an Idaho known for bluegrass,
a Bronx where people talk
like violets smell. Perhaps I am somewhere patient, somehow
kind, perhaps in the nookof a cousin universe I’ve never defiled or betrayed
anyone. Here I have
two hands and they are vanishing, the hollow of your back
to rest my cheek against,your voice and little else but my assiduous fear to cherish.
My hands are webbed
like the wind-torn work of a spider, like they squeezed
something in the wombbut couldn’t hang on. One of those other worlds
or a life I felt
passing through mine, or the ocean inside my mother’s belly
she had to scream out.Here when I say “I never want to be without you,”
somewhere else I am saying
“I never want to be without you again.” And when I touch you
in each of the places we meetin all the lives we are, it’s with hands that are dying
and resurrected.
When I don’t touch you it’s a mistake in any life,
in each place and forever.
I need to start writing again… it’s been forever so I bet there is some semblance of poetry in these bones.

Wow. Somethings to think about.
Two wonderful poems!
I’m very much looking forward to reading your work, x